the "click" is effortless, it's just happens

i was on the phone with someone in my past. we've talked for 3 hours non stop and i still feel so excited about the talking. yes, this someone is the best partner in discussion for me so far. i love talking to him about anything, everything that comes to my mind could be a great topic to talk about. we talked about our jobs, our achievements, friends, those fans, and how we deal about those things after the break up. i'm so glad to know that we're doing just fine during a hard time.

i never thought that we could like talking as two best friends after what happened in the past, giving each other opinions, supports, and laughing together, just like the old times. but yes, that's life. life's full of surprises. one time we can hate each other and wanting to kill one another, but in the other time, we can like being so supportive towards each other. but whatever it is. it's always nice to have someone like this, someone that you knew will understand the point of view of yours. and know exactly what to say even when you think you don't need any comments.

after some hours talking, we've realized that we've got the same problems. we haven't met anyone that could meets our standard. well, i hate to admit this, but we're kinda making one another as a bench mark. and eventhough i know that's so wrong, coz we'll never gonna find someone who has those characteristic, but i can't resist that i'm still looking for it. we know exactly that if we don't try to down grade our standard, we're gonna end up being alone. coz nobody is perfect. not even us.

do we really have to compromising our standard just to be fitted with someone else? or do we have to wait and keep believing that someday, we'll meet someone who's fit with us? how long does we have to wait? and how's it if after some times, we still don't find it and we know that we've wasted our time? does it too late? oh those questions keep on crossing my mind lately. the thing is, those things are not as scary as the thought that we're maybe belong to each other, in someway. well, i was so in love with this guy. but i was also so fucked up at that time. the thought that i might be feel that kind of things again strikes me to the core. and now i'm scared.

being negative is way easier to get out from our problem, right? i could easily blame someone or something and being paranoid my self. but well, that will only make things even worse right? and that's not the way i choose to solve this kind of problem. i have to keep moving on. no matter how scare i am with the future. but we'll never know what the future's gonna bring, and all we can do is keep walking and walking. i believe that everything happen has their own reason. and the reason must be such a good thing for us, someday. we just haven't realized it yet.

do you ever thinking about your problems and asking your self, "does it still have an impact and stressing me out a year from now?" HA! i guess it won't. yes, time always heals everything. so why's so serious? hihihi.. afterall, life's like a box of chocolate. full of surprise. we don't know what taste we get until we tasted it. enjoy the bumps. enjoy the joy. enjoy the ride. :)

oh i always love writing my blog. i don't know since when, but it always succeed to boost up my mood, and sure it helps me solve my own problem, someway.


love,

your author

TORN IN BETWEEN

hello may,

just like the name, it's the month of any possibilities. it's a may(be). hahaha.. it's kinda strange because just like it's name, this month means exactly like that for me.
i have told you about my jobs in this company rite? how i love everything about it. how i feel like really belong here. but suddenly, i've got this opportunity that i've looked for sooo long, my master degree. i can't give up this opportunity either, eventhough it's really hard for me to leave this so called my comfort zone.

i haven't got any results yet, i just got my 2nd test already, and i've got in. but i dont know about the last results. i'm still hoping for the best. i wish i could be one of the best student that got a chance to get in. amiiin! :)

it's actually not the ordinary magister. it's a double degree thingy, where i can get my master degree, and also get a title as a psychologist. it's kinda cool. and i'm dying to be one of them. i can see my self bringing those books, studying, and learning new stuffs. oh it's so cool! hahahahaha..

well, but the fact that i have to resign from this office is kinda strikes me. i have a cold feet. oh help! well, i love my life rite now that i dont have to beg my parents for money anymore. i can buying stuffs, and using my own money. i love that i can stand on my ground, all by my self. BUT! now. i'm dealing with the fact that i dont have any jobs where i can get all of my money, and i have to beg to my parents to get something. it's so pathetic. i'm started to feel so poor.hahhaha

oke enough drama. i just wish that everything's going to be okay. and whatever it is, i mean whatever the results is, i just hope it would be for the best. amin! :)


love,

your author