every couple has thir own way to survive the relationship, they can be a person who praise each other all the time, do whatever for their spouse, some people have to keep lying, or even have to fight to make the relationship works.
we may not be understand why some couples keep on doing those stupid silly things, and got confused, but afterall what can i say? we know nothing about them, or at least we've never been in their positions, it's better to keep quite and try to acknowledge their point of view! :)
for me, it doesnt matter on how you pick your way to survive, all the matter is you know exactly what's your objective in your relationship?
it's pathetic to be in a relationship that going nowhere. it's like having a time bomb, you know someday it's going to stop, and hurt you that much. but why you keep on staying when it's feel like chasing pavements, it wont go anywhere.
well, i dedicated those people. you know exactly who you are. so yeah, STOP! GO! RUN!!! you dont deserve to be treated this way! you're way too precious! :)
love,
windy
Jumat, 11 November 2011
Rabu, 26 Oktober 2011
a box of treasure
for me, life's all about a box treasure. this is how far would you want tp dig in, and keep on dig in, until.. well there's no end in this case! coz you'll never know at some point, maybe you'll find something's really great.
there's a friend of mine, who's accidentally being a public enemy. at first, i feel pity of her. and when i tried to dig in more, i can feel why people doesnt like her. and i stop to dig in. until some days ago, i have to make something, and that something made me have to deal with this girl. at first, i feel really upset, i dont like her, as much as everybody does. but well, then again, i remember about my point of view of life. and i took my chance to be with her. clean slate.
well, afterall she's not that bad, maybe she doesnt know why people hate her, and nobody wants to tell her about, that's not their obligation anyway.. hehe..
and for me, because right now, i've considered her as one of my friend, i'll try to remind her how to behave, not because i want everybody likes her, it's just because i want her to be the best version of herself.
alright then, lesson learned. nobody's too good or too bad, all that matter is how far would you go to know them. and i took my chance with this friend, hope you all can do the same way as me! :)
ps. this is also valid for everything matters in life! happy digging, fabulous people! <3
love,
-windyy
there's a friend of mine, who's accidentally being a public enemy. at first, i feel pity of her. and when i tried to dig in more, i can feel why people doesnt like her. and i stop to dig in. until some days ago, i have to make something, and that something made me have to deal with this girl. at first, i feel really upset, i dont like her, as much as everybody does. but well, then again, i remember about my point of view of life. and i took my chance to be with her. clean slate.
well, afterall she's not that bad, maybe she doesnt know why people hate her, and nobody wants to tell her about, that's not their obligation anyway.. hehe..
and for me, because right now, i've considered her as one of my friend, i'll try to remind her how to behave, not because i want everybody likes her, it's just because i want her to be the best version of herself.
alright then, lesson learned. nobody's too good or too bad, all that matter is how far would you go to know them. and i took my chance with this friend, hope you all can do the same way as me! :)
ps. this is also valid for everything matters in life! happy digging, fabulous people! <3
love,
-windyy
Selasa, 11 Oktober 2011
two types of smart people
first of all, i should thank God for giving me this opportunity to enter one of the best college in Indonesia! :)
my college's life is awesome, i've been through some ups and downs, but i bet that's life's all about rite? hihi.. i met so many people, with a different background, personality, religion, and etc. and i learn about how to deal with their differences, and it's quite interesting tho! :)
as times go by, i've realized how smart they are. people in my class are people who really loves to study, from those people who loves to study in library until some groups who loves to study in their groups. they're all smart. but then again, i can divided them into two groups of smart. 1st group is for people who's smart but they apparently can't share their knowledges with any other person. people like this, loves to read, introvert and kinda self fish, they want to be smart, but they dont want to teach their friends. but anyway, this isn't their fault afterall hehe.. they just simply want to be the best, but somehow i think they're really wrong for acting like that. by teaching your friends, you can really getting smarter, coz you'll remember the lesson twice better than before! well, that's my oppinion!:)
the 2nd group is for people who's really smart and want to teach their friends because they love to help, love to teach, or maybe some of them are just want to show their skill.. haha.. again, that's all their call.. but i love being in the 2nd group, which i can remember again about the lesson that i've studied before, and that's kinda making me smarter! :)
alright then, hyappy studying for you folks. remember, to learn something, you dont always need a formal school or a teacher, you can read a book, hear from any media, learn from someone else's experience, or even learn from yourself. afterall, that's all that matters. we learn something to make us better than what we've used to be. let's being the best version of ourselves. have a great day, fabulous people! :)
love,
windy
my college's life is awesome, i've been through some ups and downs, but i bet that's life's all about rite? hihi.. i met so many people, with a different background, personality, religion, and etc. and i learn about how to deal with their differences, and it's quite interesting tho! :)
as times go by, i've realized how smart they are. people in my class are people who really loves to study, from those people who loves to study in library until some groups who loves to study in their groups. they're all smart. but then again, i can divided them into two groups of smart. 1st group is for people who's smart but they apparently can't share their knowledges with any other person. people like this, loves to read, introvert and kinda self fish, they want to be smart, but they dont want to teach their friends. but anyway, this isn't their fault afterall hehe.. they just simply want to be the best, but somehow i think they're really wrong for acting like that. by teaching your friends, you can really getting smarter, coz you'll remember the lesson twice better than before! well, that's my oppinion!:)
the 2nd group is for people who's really smart and want to teach their friends because they love to help, love to teach, or maybe some of them are just want to show their skill.. haha.. again, that's all their call.. but i love being in the 2nd group, which i can remember again about the lesson that i've studied before, and that's kinda making me smarter! :)
alright then, hyappy studying for you folks. remember, to learn something, you dont always need a formal school or a teacher, you can read a book, hear from any media, learn from someone else's experience, or even learn from yourself. afterall, that's all that matters. we learn something to make us better than what we've used to be. let's being the best version of ourselves. have a great day, fabulous people! :)
love,
windy
Senin, 03 Oktober 2011
someone..
it's quite a while, that i want to write something about this particular person. this person who's being there for so long, knows me so well, but i don't know anything about him at all.
i asked my self, why people keep on looking for you, take a good care of you, but he doesn't want you to know anything about him? and i wonder..
one thing led to another, this person keep on going be there for me at the worst times of my life. everytime i look down on me, and feel that i don't deserve any better, he's shown up. being an ear and a shoulder to cry on, try to lift me up, and show me that everything will always be okay for me, coz it's me, windy.. i'll always be the wind, that blows the troubles away.. he's never fails to make me smile. he said that every troubles in my life is just a phase, it's just a hardship that will pass too.
one time, he gave me something without put any clues of the sender. but i knew that's him, the sender. and finally, he's admitted! :)
i don't know in which way i let him always being this person for me, and i don't for how much longer that he'll be always there for me. well, no matter what's going to happen in the future, i just want to say how i appreciate every lil thing you do to me, where you are! i give you a big thanks! :)
love,
windy
i asked my self, why people keep on looking for you, take a good care of you, but he doesn't want you to know anything about him? and i wonder..
one thing led to another, this person keep on going be there for me at the worst times of my life. everytime i look down on me, and feel that i don't deserve any better, he's shown up. being an ear and a shoulder to cry on, try to lift me up, and show me that everything will always be okay for me, coz it's me, windy.. i'll always be the wind, that blows the troubles away.. he's never fails to make me smile. he said that every troubles in my life is just a phase, it's just a hardship that will pass too.
one time, he gave me something without put any clues of the sender. but i knew that's him, the sender. and finally, he's admitted! :)
i don't know in which way i let him always being this person for me, and i don't for how much longer that he'll be always there for me. well, no matter what's going to happen in the future, i just want to say how i appreciate every lil thing you do to me, where you are! i give you a big thanks! :)
love,
windy
Sabtu, 01 Oktober 2011
hello, college's life :)
hey there, how i miss writing a blog.. it's been quite busy, and i don't have any more spaces to do my own me time, myself.. yea, the college's life is almost take every minutes of my time, but that's okay tho, i had a very great time during those activities. especially, for meeting new friend.
's
my friends are incredible awesome, and i'm so happy to meet those kind of people in my college. hehe.. but, the assignments are like so crazy, and those deadlines are really making me looks like a zombie. dead and walking. and working, of course.
i miss my thai boxing and yoga session, i miss having sauna, overall i miss my weekend. since i enter so called this college's life. i haven't got any weekends yet. it's not all because i have to work for my assignment only, but also i have to please some people and doing some other activities during the weekends. tired? sure.
actually, i have so much to say, but again! i'm in the middle of working my assignments right now, and i've a plan to meet my bestfriend today, so yeah that's about it. i'll tell some good things after. alright? hihi
love,
windy
's
my friends are incredible awesome, and i'm so happy to meet those kind of people in my college. hehe.. but, the assignments are like so crazy, and those deadlines are really making me looks like a zombie. dead and walking. and working, of course.
i miss my thai boxing and yoga session, i miss having sauna, overall i miss my weekend. since i enter so called this college's life. i haven't got any weekends yet. it's not all because i have to work for my assignment only, but also i have to please some people and doing some other activities during the weekends. tired? sure.
actually, i have so much to say, but again! i'm in the middle of working my assignments right now, and i've a plan to meet my bestfriend today, so yeah that's about it. i'll tell some good things after. alright? hihi
love,
windy
Rabu, 18 Mei 2011
the "click" is effortless, it's just happens
i was on the phone with someone in my past. we've talked for 3 hours non stop and i still feel so excited about the talking. yes, this someone is the best partner in discussion for me so far. i love talking to him about anything, everything that comes to my mind could be a great topic to talk about. we talked about our jobs, our achievements, friends, those fans, and how we deal about those things after the break up. i'm so glad to know that we're doing just fine during a hard time.
i never thought that we could like talking as two best friends after what happened in the past, giving each other opinions, supports, and laughing together, just like the old times. but yes, that's life. life's full of surprises. one time we can hate each other and wanting to kill one another, but in the other time, we can like being so supportive towards each other. but whatever it is. it's always nice to have someone like this, someone that you knew will understand the point of view of yours. and know exactly what to say even when you think you don't need any comments.
after some hours talking, we've realized that we've got the same problems. we haven't met anyone that could meets our standard. well, i hate to admit this, but we're kinda making one another as a bench mark. and eventhough i know that's so wrong, coz we'll never gonna find someone who has those characteristic, but i can't resist that i'm still looking for it. we know exactly that if we don't try to down grade our standard, we're gonna end up being alone. coz nobody is perfect. not even us.
do we really have to compromising our standard just to be fitted with someone else? or do we have to wait and keep believing that someday, we'll meet someone who's fit with us? how long does we have to wait? and how's it if after some times, we still don't find it and we know that we've wasted our time? does it too late? oh those questions keep on crossing my mind lately. the thing is, those things are not as scary as the thought that we're maybe belong to each other, in someway. well, i was so in love with this guy. but i was also so fucked up at that time. the thought that i might be feel that kind of things again strikes me to the core. and now i'm scared.
being negative is way easier to get out from our problem, right? i could easily blame someone or something and being paranoid my self. but well, that will only make things even worse right? and that's not the way i choose to solve this kind of problem. i have to keep moving on. no matter how scare i am with the future. but we'll never know what the future's gonna bring, and all we can do is keep walking and walking. i believe that everything happen has their own reason. and the reason must be such a good thing for us, someday. we just haven't realized it yet.
do you ever thinking about your problems and asking your self, "does it still have an impact and stressing me out a year from now?" HA! i guess it won't. yes, time always heals everything. so why's so serious? hihihi.. afterall, life's like a box of chocolate. full of surprise. we don't know what taste we get until we tasted it. enjoy the bumps. enjoy the joy. enjoy the ride. :)
oh i always love writing my blog. i don't know since when, but it always succeed to boost up my mood, and sure it helps me solve my own problem, someway.
love,
your author
i never thought that we could like talking as two best friends after what happened in the past, giving each other opinions, supports, and laughing together, just like the old times. but yes, that's life. life's full of surprises. one time we can hate each other and wanting to kill one another, but in the other time, we can like being so supportive towards each other. but whatever it is. it's always nice to have someone like this, someone that you knew will understand the point of view of yours. and know exactly what to say even when you think you don't need any comments.
after some hours talking, we've realized that we've got the same problems. we haven't met anyone that could meets our standard. well, i hate to admit this, but we're kinda making one another as a bench mark. and eventhough i know that's so wrong, coz we'll never gonna find someone who has those characteristic, but i can't resist that i'm still looking for it. we know exactly that if we don't try to down grade our standard, we're gonna end up being alone. coz nobody is perfect. not even us.
do we really have to compromising our standard just to be fitted with someone else? or do we have to wait and keep believing that someday, we'll meet someone who's fit with us? how long does we have to wait? and how's it if after some times, we still don't find it and we know that we've wasted our time? does it too late? oh those questions keep on crossing my mind lately. the thing is, those things are not as scary as the thought that we're maybe belong to each other, in someway. well, i was so in love with this guy. but i was also so fucked up at that time. the thought that i might be feel that kind of things again strikes me to the core. and now i'm scared.
being negative is way easier to get out from our problem, right? i could easily blame someone or something and being paranoid my self. but well, that will only make things even worse right? and that's not the way i choose to solve this kind of problem. i have to keep moving on. no matter how scare i am with the future. but we'll never know what the future's gonna bring, and all we can do is keep walking and walking. i believe that everything happen has their own reason. and the reason must be such a good thing for us, someday. we just haven't realized it yet.
do you ever thinking about your problems and asking your self, "does it still have an impact and stressing me out a year from now?" HA! i guess it won't. yes, time always heals everything. so why's so serious? hihihi.. afterall, life's like a box of chocolate. full of surprise. we don't know what taste we get until we tasted it. enjoy the bumps. enjoy the joy. enjoy the ride. :)
oh i always love writing my blog. i don't know since when, but it always succeed to boost up my mood, and sure it helps me solve my own problem, someway.
love,
your author
Minggu, 08 Mei 2011
TORN IN BETWEEN
hello may,
just like the name, it's the month of any possibilities. it's a may(be). hahaha.. it's kinda strange because just like it's name, this month means exactly like that for me.
i have told you about my jobs in this company rite? how i love everything about it. how i feel like really belong here. but suddenly, i've got this opportunity that i've looked for sooo long, my master degree. i can't give up this opportunity either, eventhough it's really hard for me to leave this so called my comfort zone.
i haven't got any results yet, i just got my 2nd test already, and i've got in. but i dont know about the last results. i'm still hoping for the best. i wish i could be one of the best student that got a chance to get in. amiiin! :)
it's actually not the ordinary magister. it's a double degree thingy, where i can get my master degree, and also get a title as a psychologist. it's kinda cool. and i'm dying to be one of them. i can see my self bringing those books, studying, and learning new stuffs. oh it's so cool! hahahahaha..
well, but the fact that i have to resign from this office is kinda strikes me. i have a cold feet. oh help! well, i love my life rite now that i dont have to beg my parents for money anymore. i can buying stuffs, and using my own money. i love that i can stand on my ground, all by my self. BUT! now. i'm dealing with the fact that i dont have any jobs where i can get all of my money, and i have to beg to my parents to get something. it's so pathetic. i'm started to feel so poor.hahhaha
oke enough drama. i just wish that everything's going to be okay. and whatever it is, i mean whatever the results is, i just hope it would be for the best. amin! :)
love,
your author
just like the name, it's the month of any possibilities. it's a may(be). hahaha.. it's kinda strange because just like it's name, this month means exactly like that for me.
i have told you about my jobs in this company rite? how i love everything about it. how i feel like really belong here. but suddenly, i've got this opportunity that i've looked for sooo long, my master degree. i can't give up this opportunity either, eventhough it's really hard for me to leave this so called my comfort zone.
i haven't got any results yet, i just got my 2nd test already, and i've got in. but i dont know about the last results. i'm still hoping for the best. i wish i could be one of the best student that got a chance to get in. amiiin! :)
it's actually not the ordinary magister. it's a double degree thingy, where i can get my master degree, and also get a title as a psychologist. it's kinda cool. and i'm dying to be one of them. i can see my self bringing those books, studying, and learning new stuffs. oh it's so cool! hahahahaha..
well, but the fact that i have to resign from this office is kinda strikes me. i have a cold feet. oh help! well, i love my life rite now that i dont have to beg my parents for money anymore. i can buying stuffs, and using my own money. i love that i can stand on my ground, all by my self. BUT! now. i'm dealing with the fact that i dont have any jobs where i can get all of my money, and i have to beg to my parents to get something. it's so pathetic. i'm started to feel so poor.hahhaha
oke enough drama. i just wish that everything's going to be okay. and whatever it is, i mean whatever the results is, i just hope it would be for the best. amin! :)
love,
your author
Rabu, 13 April 2011
it's not that bad! :)
last night, i had a good conversation with my friends. they're a guy. at first, it was like only such a casual talking. until, i dont know, it comes from no where, we talked about "how far would a guy gonna use some tricks to attract a woman". i couldnt help but wonder, and i kept on trying to make them tell me all about it. and there, finally! all of those informations were coming through their mouths. and i stop and stare, and i'm so shocked at that time to know it all. i'm not gonna spare all the details, coz it's gonna ruins all the fun, but ladies, you should be smart enough to know who's beside you. and by that i mean, "does he love you that much? or he's just simply want to play one of those games, and get "something" from you". i choked.
and now, i feel like thinking, and dragging my self back to my past for a lil while, "does that man loves me or simply wants "something" from me?" and well, actually i dont have to ask, coz i knew already that he loves me that much, and our love was so pure and so true back then. even we had to be separated and live our lives without having each other company, but one thing for sure, i've never doubt his love for me. never have and never will! :)
i'm glad at least i know, no matter how good or bad my life rite now, even sometimes i met the ups and down, but some lil part of my heart knows that he'll always be there. loving me. yes, eventhough i'm not feeling anything towards him rite now, but this time, i'd like to say thank you very much for loving me so true.
see, i've finally see all of these things in a bigger frame. and i forgave him as a whole. for doing so many things that hurted me. well, i've done so many bad things to him also, and i'm not perfect. not even close. but let me make this straight, i've never meant to do those bad things. i did love him so much back then. and i'm really sorry for causing him a broken heart. i do. hope wherever he is rite now, weather he knew about this or never will, i hope he's doing fine there. i wish him nothing, but happiness in life! and i do hope he could be as happy as i am rite now! :')
love,
windy
and now, i feel like thinking, and dragging my self back to my past for a lil while, "does that man loves me or simply wants "something" from me?" and well, actually i dont have to ask, coz i knew already that he loves me that much, and our love was so pure and so true back then. even we had to be separated and live our lives without having each other company, but one thing for sure, i've never doubt his love for me. never have and never will! :)
i'm glad at least i know, no matter how good or bad my life rite now, even sometimes i met the ups and down, but some lil part of my heart knows that he'll always be there. loving me. yes, eventhough i'm not feeling anything towards him rite now, but this time, i'd like to say thank you very much for loving me so true.
see, i've finally see all of these things in a bigger frame. and i forgave him as a whole. for doing so many things that hurted me. well, i've done so many bad things to him also, and i'm not perfect. not even close. but let me make this straight, i've never meant to do those bad things. i did love him so much back then. and i'm really sorry for causing him a broken heart. i do. hope wherever he is rite now, weather he knew about this or never will, i hope he's doing fine there. i wish him nothing, but happiness in life! and i do hope he could be as happy as i am rite now! :')
love,
windy
Rabu, 06 April 2011
this office
hey there, you folks! hehe..
kinda miss me lately? actually well, i posted some blogs lately, but i dont feel like it to post. hehe
but today i feel like telling story about my company. yeahs. hihi..
as you knew already that i love my job so much. i couldn't find the rite words to say it, but i just simply love it. i don't know, is it because of they paid me well, or the environment, or i just simply belong here? well, i'm just simply love being here. and i thank God, after several places i've been trying to look for a place for me, where i could like singing my own songs, with my own company. and speaking about those things, this is the perfect place, where i feel really belong here. and rite now, that's what matters.
after like 6 months working here, i realized that this is what i've been always searching for, a place that always welcome, and the environment that supports without trying to change the way i am. i am in peace. i love my self when i'm surrounded by them, i found my true friends here, and i love them. maybe someday in my youth or childhood, i must have done something good, or i just simply too lucky? and i thank God that i have this life. i really couldn't asking for more. alhamdulillah..
love,
your author
kinda miss me lately? actually well, i posted some blogs lately, but i dont feel like it to post. hehe
but today i feel like telling story about my company. yeahs. hihi..
as you knew already that i love my job so much. i couldn't find the rite words to say it, but i just simply love it. i don't know, is it because of they paid me well, or the environment, or i just simply belong here? well, i'm just simply love being here. and i thank God, after several places i've been trying to look for a place for me, where i could like singing my own songs, with my own company. and speaking about those things, this is the perfect place, where i feel really belong here. and rite now, that's what matters.
after like 6 months working here, i realized that this is what i've been always searching for, a place that always welcome, and the environment that supports without trying to change the way i am. i am in peace. i love my self when i'm surrounded by them, i found my true friends here, and i love them. maybe someday in my youth or childhood, i must have done something good, or i just simply too lucky? and i thank God that i have this life. i really couldn't asking for more. alhamdulillah..
love,
your author
Kamis, 10 Maret 2011
hey, pretender
do you enjoy living like this win? do you love to try to force your self to be as happy as you can, when you are actually not? well, i'm one of those people who doesnt like to make people see my imperfections, i mean like my weakness or simply to see me being weak. but why do i do that? HA! that's the question. hihi..
and the 2nd lies i love to do, is pretending that i'm happy with some people who's trying to get my attention, i mean "the boyfriend candidates". you know my previous blog about "no matter how hard you try, you just simply can't buy coziness" thingy? yes, that's about it. the thing is, the pieces just dont fit, it's not their mistakes, and it's not my mistake either. it's just simply doesn't rite, and i'm too tired to force my self to enjoy this. so i left. again. choosing my own paths. and i dont want to lower my standards at all cost, just to be fixed with someone. no. not anymore.
untiiiiiil. i kinda found out two of them are now having a relationship with someone else. HA! well, i'm not saying that i'm not happy for them, which is yes i am! i wish them all the happiness in the world! :)
to know that yes, i can't give them any chances to be with me, coz yeaaa.. that's so windy, i just simply cant settle for anything less than what i deserve. i'm not saying that they're not good, but they're not for me. i'll give you the "why" from my side ya? hehe
1. bachelor #1 : he's so nice, so easy to be with and so easy to make my laugh. i like to spend hours with this guys sooo much, and enjoy his company. he's so lovable and funny, crazy and stuffs, and his family is pretty close with my family. plus his father is like "something" to this country. BUT! i dont't think he's such a husband material. i mean, just so you know his job is kinda errrr i dont want to say not enough to make a living, but i think he's still counting on his father. and for me, it's not cool at all. so yea, let's be friends! shall we? :)
2. bachelor #2 : he's so smart and manly. he's kinda romantic and silly. and he loves traveling so much. plus he's coming from the best university and majoring the best also. he's kinda husband material. and at 1s, i really want to let him have his chance to be with me. BUT! i dont know why, after some weeks, it turns out really boring, and his personality isnt that good. i mean he's sometimes being too snob and tacky. well, i have to admit that i hate everything about his personality. HAHAHA! and because we're not that close, and i dont even care about anything, since we havent start anything yet, then i retreated. ignore him. and until maybe someday, we can start this thing over, as a friend? :)
i'm not sad at all, i'm really happy for them to finally found someone else. and hopping that someone's gonna be the best for them. well, at the 1st time, i kinda feel like being left out, eventhough i'm the one who's leaving them, but well it's never happened before. i was like, "oh come on, i'm suppose to be the one who's in relationship before them". but hey win, come on, have you ever heard this, "the best is yet to come", hihihi.. then i stop, and stare for a while. considering my self, being as their spouse. oh NO WAY! they're spouse are really suitable with them now. and that's it. that's not me. i deserve someone's a lot better than them. i smile. BIG GRIN. and i know now, Allah just simply loves me too much and having another story. a better one for me.
and you know what, i'm glad that i haven't settle yet, i can't imagine how much times that i have to waste to be with another wrong person! hihi.. then again, they're actually good, really good stuffs. but they're just simply not good enough for me! ;)
love,
your author
and the 2nd lies i love to do, is pretending that i'm happy with some people who's trying to get my attention, i mean "the boyfriend candidates". you know my previous blog about "no matter how hard you try, you just simply can't buy coziness" thingy? yes, that's about it. the thing is, the pieces just dont fit, it's not their mistakes, and it's not my mistake either. it's just simply doesn't rite, and i'm too tired to force my self to enjoy this. so i left. again. choosing my own paths. and i dont want to lower my standards at all cost, just to be fixed with someone. no. not anymore.
untiiiiiil. i kinda found out two of them are now having a relationship with someone else. HA! well, i'm not saying that i'm not happy for them, which is yes i am! i wish them all the happiness in the world! :)
to know that yes, i can't give them any chances to be with me, coz yeaaa.. that's so windy, i just simply cant settle for anything less than what i deserve. i'm not saying that they're not good, but they're not for me. i'll give you the "why" from my side ya? hehe
1. bachelor #1 : he's so nice, so easy to be with and so easy to make my laugh. i like to spend hours with this guys sooo much, and enjoy his company. he's so lovable and funny, crazy and stuffs, and his family is pretty close with my family. plus his father is like "something" to this country. BUT! i dont't think he's such a husband material. i mean, just so you know his job is kinda errrr i dont want to say not enough to make a living, but i think he's still counting on his father. and for me, it's not cool at all. so yea, let's be friends! shall we? :)
2. bachelor #2 : he's so smart and manly. he's kinda romantic and silly. and he loves traveling so much. plus he's coming from the best university and majoring the best also. he's kinda husband material. and at 1s, i really want to let him have his chance to be with me. BUT! i dont know why, after some weeks, it turns out really boring, and his personality isnt that good. i mean he's sometimes being too snob and tacky. well, i have to admit that i hate everything about his personality. HAHAHA! and because we're not that close, and i dont even care about anything, since we havent start anything yet, then i retreated. ignore him. and until maybe someday, we can start this thing over, as a friend? :)
i'm not sad at all, i'm really happy for them to finally found someone else. and hopping that someone's gonna be the best for them. well, at the 1st time, i kinda feel like being left out, eventhough i'm the one who's leaving them, but well it's never happened before. i was like, "oh come on, i'm suppose to be the one who's in relationship before them". but hey win, come on, have you ever heard this, "the best is yet to come", hihihi.. then i stop, and stare for a while. considering my self, being as their spouse. oh NO WAY! they're spouse are really suitable with them now. and that's it. that's not me. i deserve someone's a lot better than them. i smile. BIG GRIN. and i know now, Allah just simply loves me too much and having another story. a better one for me.
and you know what, i'm glad that i haven't settle yet, i can't imagine how much times that i have to waste to be with another wrong person! hihi.. then again, they're actually good, really good stuffs. but they're just simply not good enough for me! ;)
love,
your author
Senin, 07 Maret 2011
a soulmate..
today, i want to be a lover. a sweet one. hhihi.. so i want to write about this, this soulmate's thingy. i've been meaning to write about this since like forever, but yeah, too many things distracted me, so yeah now is the time! :)
i read this sentence yesterday,
i read this sentence yesterday,
"hal paling mengerikan dalam pencarian jodoh adalah ketika kau akhirnya benar-benar menemukannya"
and hours after, i cant stop thinking about it. really? isn't it suppose to be such a great thing when you find it, rite? am i RITE? hmmm well, when i think about it over again. and i make myself picturing that i've already found one, then OMG! yes, it's scary. i mean a good scary yah. it's like "i can find someone that makes me so sure". and feeling so sure about something without seeing any imperfections, or elses i can tolerate the imperfections and really can live with it, somehow it scares me. i'm such a perfectionist person, i tend to find flaws in people. and i dont know how to handle a person without any flaws, or simply accepted him. hihi..
but it's gonna be really great to have that kind of person. actually, i'm not those girl who loves a complicated person. i will try to describe someone who will be my future husband, my deary love, my soulmate.
i want to end up with a person who's simply easy to make me laugh. yes, laughter is a indicator that we are happy. so i want to laugh for the rest of my life with this person.
i want to have someone that i can easily talk to, and by that means he has to be up to everything. coz i love to discuss about everything, from a simple thing to a huge and complicated things.
i'm not that romantic. but having the one who's caring, loving, and affectionate won't kill me rite?hehe.. i love to be hugged, and cuddling all the way we watch movies. and i want to lay down on his chest and knowing that this is the only home for me.
i want to be with a person who can supports me and my activities. and wont feel threaten with my achievements.
i want to be with someone who loves traveling. and i wish he knows more about those maps than me. so i can have my own person tour guide.
but it's nicer to save someone who's waiting for me at home. asking me how i deal with my day that day.
i want to have someone who's always considered the best when we've felt the worst.
i want to love and be loved unconditionally, adoring each other, and..
MOST OF ALL, it's built to last! :')
woohoo.. i can't see this coming. i don't know that this entry will turn into some "i want my future husband to be like this" thingy! huahahaha.. but well, i'm glad i wrote these things though. keep reminding me that this man is the one i was looking for. and i'm not gonna settle for anything less than what i deserve. *BIG GRIN*
love,
your author
but it's gonna be really great to have that kind of person. actually, i'm not those girl who loves a complicated person. i will try to describe someone who will be my future husband, my deary love, my soulmate.
i want to end up with a person who's simply easy to make me laugh. yes, laughter is a indicator that we are happy. so i want to laugh for the rest of my life with this person.
i want to have someone that i can easily talk to, and by that means he has to be up to everything. coz i love to discuss about everything, from a simple thing to a huge and complicated things.
i'm not that romantic. but having the one who's caring, loving, and affectionate won't kill me rite?hehe.. i love to be hugged, and cuddling all the way we watch movies. and i want to lay down on his chest and knowing that this is the only home for me.
i want to be with a person who can supports me and my activities. and wont feel threaten with my achievements.
i want to be with someone who loves traveling. and i wish he knows more about those maps than me. so i can have my own person tour guide.
but it's nicer to save someone who's waiting for me at home. asking me how i deal with my day that day.
i want to have someone who's always considered the best when we've felt the worst.
i want to love and be loved unconditionally, adoring each other, and..
MOST OF ALL, it's built to last! :')
woohoo.. i can't see this coming. i don't know that this entry will turn into some "i want my future husband to be like this" thingy! huahahaha.. but well, i'm glad i wrote these things though. keep reminding me that this man is the one i was looking for. and i'm not gonna settle for anything less than what i deserve. *BIG GRIN*
love,
your author
Rabu, 02 Maret 2011
how bad the work place could impact your life
today while driving my car on the way to the office, i kinda have some thoughts. and i kept thinking about this issue. i can see so many people around me who's changing once they got the job. hmm anyway, what's job for you? how bad do you want to have a job? does your job is rite for you? and how about the work place? the people around it? does it impact your life? your personal life?
for me a job is just a tool that i use to get my own dreams, the bigger one. and sure to buy things, stand on my own, and sure travelling! hohoho.. and by that, i dont want my job to take place and ruins my personal life. i mean like i hate to work after 5, stay up at nite just to work longer, forgot to eat, and dont have so much time to spend with my dearest people. NO!!! i dont want to trade the moments with them only for a few bucks that i can get from working. i have a life here, a happy life, and the biggest parts is because it's consist of having my dearest people here! :')
lately, i've got some thoughts that my dearest people are kinda busy and somehow they've changed. well, i've experienced it when my closest someone's changed to someone bad, and it's really hurted me that much back then. i know everything has to change, but this someone, this is just simply someone that i love the most, and when he changed into someone that i hate, he's not only hurted my feeling, he's also made me change. a lot.
and i made a question to my self, "how much i've changed from the old windy?". well, actually this work place is kinda change me a lil bit too. but yeahs, somehow i try so hard to be true. i hate being such a goody goody type of worker. i work smartly. not that hard because i'm not looking for any career. but still i want to have a good performance here to increase my ability to be better. but yeahs, i dont know why somehow i dont feel so true lately. it's like if everyone must have something to be good at, then i know what i'm good at, i'm good at PRETENDING. yes, i'm so good at it until i think that i'm one of the best! HAHAHAHA! yea, sometimes after i wrote something that awfully wrong, i always laugh. hehehehe.. well, of course this isn't as bad as it sounds. but well lately, i dont think i'm being my true self. and the worst thing is i'm tired.
how much longer that i can stand being like this?
love,
your author
for me a job is just a tool that i use to get my own dreams, the bigger one. and sure to buy things, stand on my own, and sure travelling! hohoho.. and by that, i dont want my job to take place and ruins my personal life. i mean like i hate to work after 5, stay up at nite just to work longer, forgot to eat, and dont have so much time to spend with my dearest people. NO!!! i dont want to trade the moments with them only for a few bucks that i can get from working. i have a life here, a happy life, and the biggest parts is because it's consist of having my dearest people here! :')
lately, i've got some thoughts that my dearest people are kinda busy and somehow they've changed. well, i've experienced it when my closest someone's changed to someone bad, and it's really hurted me that much back then. i know everything has to change, but this someone, this is just simply someone that i love the most, and when he changed into someone that i hate, he's not only hurted my feeling, he's also made me change. a lot.
and i made a question to my self, "how much i've changed from the old windy?". well, actually this work place is kinda change me a lil bit too. but yeahs, somehow i try so hard to be true. i hate being such a goody goody type of worker. i work smartly. not that hard because i'm not looking for any career. but still i want to have a good performance here to increase my ability to be better. but yeahs, i dont know why somehow i dont feel so true lately. it's like if everyone must have something to be good at, then i know what i'm good at, i'm good at PRETENDING. yes, i'm so good at it until i think that i'm one of the best! HAHAHAHA! yea, sometimes after i wrote something that awfully wrong, i always laugh. hehehehe.. well, of course this isn't as bad as it sounds. but well lately, i dont think i'm being my true self. and the worst thing is i'm tired.
how much longer that i can stand being like this?
love,
your author
you can't buy the coziness
i wrote my previous blog with bahasa. it's kinda strange actually. coz i usually share my feeling in english, it's always been like that, i dont know since when.
what i really want to share here is about "HOME", for me home is a place where i can scream without having my voice louds, where i can really talk, share, and show how i feel without having any rejection, it's the place where i can really be my self. anD that's about it.
people said that we can buy everything with money. we can even buy people to love us if we want. but really? well, it could be actually. people are not looking so true anymore nowadays. they tend to look for who you are, i mean what you have, who's your family, how's your appearance, etc. well, we can't blame on them, coz maybe, we'll never know that we're one of those people rite? :)
but for me, there's something you can't buy. it's coziness. it's more like what you feel when you are at home. comfort. yea, it's comforting. and you can't buy this one. really you can't. no matter how you think that it's the rite thing, but hey, it's a feeling afterall, and when you deal with it, you can't think, you just feel it.
oke, i'll start to describe with a story. hihi.. *yea, there's always a story behind everything, rite?*
you guys are still remember about some guy i'vetold you before. yea, the crush one. hihi.. he's actually alright. he's *still* someone that i wish i could be with. BUT! *again, there's a BIG BUT* hihi.. i dont know why lately, there's a lot of things that make me not really sure about him. in conclusion is, we dont share things in common. coz we dont have it. it's so sad since i kinda find him attractive yah, but well when we have to deal with feeling, we just feel it, we dont use our brain, we use our heart *ihiyy* hehe.
i'm not actually so good at this thing. i use to love a man for sooooooooooo long, and i dont have any feeling to any other man to compare. until this one. well, he's still can't compare the previous one, OF COURSE! but yea, he made me believe that i can falling in love once again, since i kinda like him a lot at first. and when i start to believe, start to know him better, that's when i knew we're that different. i don't like the way he tries to reach me. i dont like the way he shares stories. i dont like the way we communicate. i dont like his style. i dont like the way he brags. okeee i hate everything about him. HAHAHAHA! *ups*
well, at first i dont know what's rush into me til i had that feeling, it's like being crush on someone. yea maybe i'm just like a girl who just got out from a tough and long relationship, and all i need is having a new adventure, new type of man, and VOILAA here he is. hehe..
but, i'm better now. at least i can control my self. and sorry to say, but well i'm not into it anymore. it's done.
i dont say that i'm being back to that stupid windy who loves the same man for almost errr like forever yah, coz i changed, A LOT! i'm sure that i can be better without him. which I AM. i'm so happy rite now. i cant ask for more. Allah just simply loves me that much. hold me that tight when i need it the most. and rite now, i can be on my own. i can be whoever i want my self be. i can be better and better. and by that, i dont want to settle for anything less than what deserve. NO! i dont want to say that i wont be with him anymore, coz i dont want to play GOD, if it's happens, then it's Allah's will. and if it is, i'm sure it will be for my best. but rite now, i dont want it to be happened. as long as i can run, i'll try to run futher away from him. HA! :p
2nd story is came from my childhood friend. he's actually not really the kind of man that i want to be end up with. he's errrr i dont know how to describe this second man, but well he's simply NOT that husband matterial! :( you know i always hate a man who's deliberately using his family's power, because he knows exactly who his father is. and i hate to talk about something over and over again, like you dont actually have anything to discuss, i mean he's just simply not that smart. and being with a smart man is my thing. BUT! *yeahs another BIG BUT* huahahaha..
he's so lovable, so easy to be with, so funny, so easy to please me, and he's so comforting. and it's an OUCH! coz i'm starting to see him more than just a friend of mine. well, he likes me a lot ever since we met, and he admitted it. but well, to be with him is like having so many obstacles to be concerned. not only it could ruins our friendships, but it may ruins our father's friendships. and most of all, i'm not really sure that i'm into this thing also, so yeaa i dont want to lose him. huhu..
so yea, that's about it readers. then again, you can't force to be comforted with someone. see, i've told you, afterall we all knew that we can't buy coziness. so yea, dont be too fast to settle, coz you wont settle for anything less than what you deserve rite? be smart! :D
love,
your author
what i really want to share here is about "HOME", for me home is a place where i can scream without having my voice louds, where i can really talk, share, and show how i feel without having any rejection, it's the place where i can really be my self. anD that's about it.
people said that we can buy everything with money. we can even buy people to love us if we want. but really? well, it could be actually. people are not looking so true anymore nowadays. they tend to look for who you are, i mean what you have, who's your family, how's your appearance, etc. well, we can't blame on them, coz maybe, we'll never know that we're one of those people rite? :)
but for me, there's something you can't buy. it's coziness. it's more like what you feel when you are at home. comfort. yea, it's comforting. and you can't buy this one. really you can't. no matter how you think that it's the rite thing, but hey, it's a feeling afterall, and when you deal with it, you can't think, you just feel it.
oke, i'll start to describe with a story. hihi.. *yea, there's always a story behind everything, rite?*
you guys are still remember about some guy i'vetold you before. yea, the crush one. hihi.. he's actually alright. he's *still* someone that i wish i could be with. BUT! *again, there's a BIG BUT* hihi.. i dont know why lately, there's a lot of things that make me not really sure about him. in conclusion is, we dont share things in common. coz we dont have it. it's so sad since i kinda find him attractive yah, but well when we have to deal with feeling, we just feel it, we dont use our brain, we use our heart *ihiyy* hehe.
i'm not actually so good at this thing. i use to love a man for sooooooooooo long, and i dont have any feeling to any other man to compare. until this one. well, he's still can't compare the previous one, OF COURSE! but yea, he made me believe that i can falling in love once again, since i kinda like him a lot at first. and when i start to believe, start to know him better, that's when i knew we're that different. i don't like the way he tries to reach me. i dont like the way he shares stories. i dont like the way we communicate. i dont like his style. i dont like the way he brags. okeee i hate everything about him. HAHAHAHA! *ups*
well, at first i dont know what's rush into me til i had that feeling, it's like being crush on someone. yea maybe i'm just like a girl who just got out from a tough and long relationship, and all i need is having a new adventure, new type of man, and VOILAA here he is. hehe..
but, i'm better now. at least i can control my self. and sorry to say, but well i'm not into it anymore. it's done.
i dont say that i'm being back to that stupid windy who loves the same man for almost errr like forever yah, coz i changed, A LOT! i'm sure that i can be better without him. which I AM. i'm so happy rite now. i cant ask for more. Allah just simply loves me that much. hold me that tight when i need it the most. and rite now, i can be on my own. i can be whoever i want my self be. i can be better and better. and by that, i dont want to settle for anything less than what deserve. NO! i dont want to say that i wont be with him anymore, coz i dont want to play GOD, if it's happens, then it's Allah's will. and if it is, i'm sure it will be for my best. but rite now, i dont want it to be happened. as long as i can run, i'll try to run futher away from him. HA! :p
2nd story is came from my childhood friend. he's actually not really the kind of man that i want to be end up with. he's errrr i dont know how to describe this second man, but well he's simply NOT that husband matterial! :( you know i always hate a man who's deliberately using his family's power, because he knows exactly who his father is. and i hate to talk about something over and over again, like you dont actually have anything to discuss, i mean he's just simply not that smart. and being with a smart man is my thing. BUT! *yeahs another BIG BUT* huahahaha..
he's so lovable, so easy to be with, so funny, so easy to please me, and he's so comforting. and it's an OUCH! coz i'm starting to see him more than just a friend of mine. well, he likes me a lot ever since we met, and he admitted it. but well, to be with him is like having so many obstacles to be concerned. not only it could ruins our friendships, but it may ruins our father's friendships. and most of all, i'm not really sure that i'm into this thing also, so yeaa i dont want to lose him. huhu..
so yea, that's about it readers. then again, you can't force to be comforted with someone. see, i've told you, afterall we all knew that we can't buy coziness. so yea, dont be too fast to settle, coz you wont settle for anything less than what you deserve rite? be smart! :D
love,
your author
Senin, 07 Februari 2011
VACATION TIME!!!!!!!
hmmm agak bingung mau mulai ceritanya darimana.. hihi..
smua rencana liburan ini berawal dari sekitar 1,5 bulanan yang lalu, dimana aku akhirnya berhasil "memerdekakan" diriku dan semua mimpi serta cita-cita yang ingin ku raih. aku merasa bisa bebas menjadi siapapun yang ku inginkan tanpa khawatir akan menyakiti dan merasa ditolak. namun kali ini mungkin aku agak sedikit "off the guard" hihi.. ga seburuk itu kok, hanya agak kurang mirip windy yang biasanya saja.. hihi..
hmmm windy yang biasanya itu adalah windy yang punya planning jelas, dari A-Z udah beneran dipikirin dan bikin plan B, C, sampai D sebelum mutusin atau mengerjakan sesuatu. namun, entah mengapa kali ini aku lagi super pengen jadi windy yang spontan dan ga mikir ribet. HA! *gaya banget, sumpah* hihi.. and here i am, tiba2 mengiyakan ajakan dari anak teman ayahku untuk ke BANGKA! hihi..
can you see how beauty the picture is?? its a WOW!!! :D
anyway, i had like the best vacation of my own version ever! *since this is the 1st time* hihi..
tadinya sumpah pingin banget deh ngerasain liburan ala back packer gitu *biar keren* hahaha.. back packer disini maksudnya liburan yang murah meriah, trus nyari hotel yang biasa aja, naik angkot, bawa baju secukupnya, and so on yaa.. pokoknya liburan pas-pas tp asik! namun apa daya *lagi* i'm just simply too lucky, atau memang menurut Allah belum saatnya nih aku ngerasain liburan jenis begitu yah? :)
tapi apapun itu aku sangat bersyukur, liburan kali ini juga beda.. yahhhhh bedanya sih 180 derajat yaa dari liburan ala back packer di pikiranku.. kali ini liburanku lebih mirip kaya liburan ala istri pejabat yang dijamu dimana-mana.. hehe..
it's feels weird actually, since maybe i'm not there *yet* yah? but well, like i said before, it's the best!! :):):)
i couldn't thank Randy enough for being my personal tour guide! but hey, i made this blog for him, that's kind of my appreciation, isn't it? hihi..
anyway, see you on my 'another' vacation, reader!
love,
your author
smua rencana liburan ini berawal dari sekitar 1,5 bulanan yang lalu, dimana aku akhirnya berhasil "memerdekakan" diriku dan semua mimpi serta cita-cita yang ingin ku raih. aku merasa bisa bebas menjadi siapapun yang ku inginkan tanpa khawatir akan menyakiti dan merasa ditolak. namun kali ini mungkin aku agak sedikit "off the guard" hihi.. ga seburuk itu kok, hanya agak kurang mirip windy yang biasanya saja.. hihi..
hmmm windy yang biasanya itu adalah windy yang punya planning jelas, dari A-Z udah beneran dipikirin dan bikin plan B, C, sampai D sebelum mutusin atau mengerjakan sesuatu. namun, entah mengapa kali ini aku lagi super pengen jadi windy yang spontan dan ga mikir ribet. HA! *gaya banget, sumpah* hihi.. and here i am, tiba2 mengiyakan ajakan dari anak teman ayahku untuk ke BANGKA! hihi..
can you see how beauty the picture is?? its a WOW!!! :D
tanpa pikir terlalu panjang, aku langsung bilang "IYA" pas anak ayahku ini nawarin. sumpah tadinya aku pikir aku hanya akan dapat akomodasi, karena memang akan tinggal dirumahnya, *dan plus di antar jemput yaa* namuuuuuuun, malang tak dapat diraih, untung tak dapat ditolak, tiket pesawat dan semua oleh2 pun akhirnya ditanggung! huahahaha.. *BIG GRIN*
agak bingung untuk mulai darimana, tapi aku akan mulai cerita soal liburan ini dari awal.. awal pertama kali meng-iyakan ajakan (sebut saja nama mas ini : Randy), aku sudah agak merasa aneh, karena dya blg ga usah pikirin tiketnya, pasti dapet, waktunya aja terserah, intinya sih aku nyampe aja di airport, 10 menit lagi pesawat mau berangkat juga bisa dapet tiketnya kok.. aku kira awalnya itu becandaan, yaah sampai akhirnya aku benar-benar ngalamin, hihi.. nyampe airport dengan tanpa bekal tiket dan tanpa tau mau naik pesawat apa.. lalu harus ketemu dengan protokol pemprov yang aku ga pernah liat.. but VOILAAAAA.. i've got the ticket and it's really easy, i dont have to queue! HAHAHA!! *that's my 1st smile*, okee i dont want to mention what kind of facilities that i've got during my time in the terminal.. ohiya, aku lupa bilang, ayah randy ini adalah salah satu dari orang yang punya jabatan tertinggi di Bangka, dan tentu saja itu mudah sekali untuk bisa dapat service cukup baik *bahkan berlebihan* untuk anak-anaknya, dan karena bagian dari *dianggap* keluarga, aku jadi ikutan deh! hihi *dikiiit*
sampai airport Bangka, "Depati Amir", bahkan sebelum pesawatku landing, aku sudah bisa melihat foto ayah randy sangat besar dan terpampang disana. kemudian aku mulai membatin, siapakah kira-kira ayahnya, i mean i knew him and who's he for this city, but sure i dont know how infected the tittle is. tapi baiklaaah, aku toh tidak terlalu peduli karena yang terpikir hanyalah bagaimana bisa memaksimalkan hari liburan ini sebaik-baiknya! HA!! :P
randy tidak libur, karena ini hari jumat, dan memang hanya aku yang membolos dari kantor.. hehe.. jadi hari ini dia hanya menjemputku, kemudian kembali ke kantor dan kemudian ijin pulang cepat untuk makan malam dengan ku.. hihi..
malam ini kita makan malam ditempat yang sangat romantis, namanya pasir padi..
jadi restaurant ini bentuknya kaya kapal gt, jd kita duduk di dalamnya, jadi bisa berasa kaya lagi berlayar, sayangnya airnya lagi surut, jadi kurang seru ga bisa kaya lagi di laut! dan sayangnya *lagi* kita makan malam, jadi foto-fotonya kurang heboh! hihi..
besok paginya aku bangun pagi sekali jam 5, HA! *memang ya bisa segitu semangatnya bangun kalau lagi libu* hihi.. hari ini kita akan jalan-jalan dan foto-foto di pantai YANG BANYAK!!! hihiyyyy! horeeeee! 
anyway, i had like the best vacation of my own version ever! *since this is the 1st time* hihi..
tadinya sumpah pingin banget deh ngerasain liburan ala back packer gitu *biar keren* hahaha.. back packer disini maksudnya liburan yang murah meriah, trus nyari hotel yang biasa aja, naik angkot, bawa baju secukupnya, and so on yaa.. pokoknya liburan pas-pas tp asik! namun apa daya *lagi* i'm just simply too lucky, atau memang menurut Allah belum saatnya nih aku ngerasain liburan jenis begitu yah? :)
tapi apapun itu aku sangat bersyukur, liburan kali ini juga beda.. yahhhhh bedanya sih 180 derajat yaa dari liburan ala back packer di pikiranku.. kali ini liburanku lebih mirip kaya liburan ala istri pejabat yang dijamu dimana-mana.. hehe..
it's feels weird actually, since maybe i'm not there *yet* yah? but well, like i said before, it's the best!! :):):)
i couldn't thank Randy enough for being my personal tour guide! but hey, i made this blog for him, that's kind of my appreciation, isn't it? hihi..
anyway, see you on my 'another' vacation, reader!
love,
your author
Selasa, 25 Januari 2011
convince the heart of mine
hey, it's been a month since the day i took a very brave decision to leave him. a lot of things has changed. i am changed also. i am glad that even i dont know how much i change, but i'm pretty sure i'm a lot better now.
and since there's a new guy suddenly entered my life for the past some weeks, even somehow i can tell i'm not gonna end up with this one, but he's like a perfect crush for me! hihi.. my friend once told me that i look alike a high school teenager who's conditionally has a crush on someone. hoho. it's actually looks even crazier, just so you know. i'm barely even know my self. but screw it, life's all about choices rite? and now i'm choosing being a lover.hehe.
and since there's a new guy suddenly entered my life for the past some weeks, even somehow i can tell i'm not gonna end up with this one, but he's like a perfect crush for me! hihi.. my friend once told me that i look alike a high school teenager who's conditionally has a crush on someone. hoho. it's actually looks even crazier, just so you know. i'm barely even know my self. but screw it, life's all about choices rite? and now i'm choosing being a lover.hehe.
i almost forgot how to cry because i'm so happy rite now. so happy with my life, and i cant trade for anything, yeah.. i cant complain about anything rite now. and him, the new guy, making everything looks even more perfecto. hihiy.
until last nite, a bestfriend sent me some proof of their conversation, yeah it's her and "you know who" conversation. i stood up. shocked. and touched. but i have to admit, this is what i've already predicted before. i know sooner or later, he'll realize that i'm the best and he treated me wrongly back then. some parts of me want to call him and let him know that i'll always love him. and make him sure that we're doing good back then, but we're just simply dont meant to be together. and for that, nobody's wrong. but some parts of me, which is like the bigger one, feels that i dont have any obligation to do anything with that. i'm moving on already. and i dont want to look back anymore. for whatever the reason is.
i have to convince my heart. settle it down. and be in present. and to you dearest one, you know i wish all the best thing in life. i wish you all the love and happiness in the world. and please please please dont ruin this one. coz i know this time will be different. take care there. i know you wont read this. but somehow i know u knew all of these things. sorry i cant give you any last words. it's too painful for me to admit that it's not fair for me. but i've to be grown up. i've to move on. i am a BIG girl. and BIG girl isnt suppose to whine and complain. hehe. which is i am not.
love,
your author
Selasa, 18 Januari 2011
LOSS
whats loss means to you? whats your big loss? is it feels like the worst nightmare just happened to you?
mine? its not when i lost my 5 years boyfriend, or any other boys, it's not when i lost all my pictures in my laptop, its not even when i lost my bestfriend because of stupid reason.
my big loss is when i have lost my spirit, my dignity, and my self so i could be with someone.
i almost forgot how it feels for being windy, for laughing so hard til i want to cry, dancing crazily infront of ppl, eager to know about EVERYTHING, and having a HUGE pride. hehe. that's not really show me actually, but yeaa i love to make things a lil bit "bigger". hihi.
oke enough, all i want to share is not actually about me. it's about "how about losing someone you love the most?" it's a family, in particullar. i almost cry when i try to remember what's happened yesterday. my mom entered my room and cried. and told me that news, "icha's daughter has just passed away", she said. and i cant hold on, my tears are fell down rite away.
its really a BIG thing, you know. i cant even imagine what will gonna happens to me if i were her. thats why i always believe that Allah wont give you any problems that you cant handle. and if you feel like you cant handle it, surrender to Allah, Allah will helps you to solve it. HAVE FAITH!! :)
mean awile, lets spreading our positivity to our environment. and SMILE! it will looks good on us. and you know, we'll never know who's gonna falling with our smiles, rite? ;) *bathing eyelashes*
love,
your author
mine? its not when i lost my 5 years boyfriend, or any other boys, it's not when i lost all my pictures in my laptop, its not even when i lost my bestfriend because of stupid reason.
my big loss is when i have lost my spirit, my dignity, and my self so i could be with someone.
i almost forgot how it feels for being windy, for laughing so hard til i want to cry, dancing crazily infront of ppl, eager to know about EVERYTHING, and having a HUGE pride. hehe. that's not really show me actually, but yeaa i love to make things a lil bit "bigger". hihi.
oke enough, all i want to share is not actually about me. it's about "how about losing someone you love the most?" it's a family, in particullar. i almost cry when i try to remember what's happened yesterday. my mom entered my room and cried. and told me that news, "icha's daughter has just passed away", she said. and i cant hold on, my tears are fell down rite away.
its really a BIG thing, you know. i cant even imagine what will gonna happens to me if i were her. thats why i always believe that Allah wont give you any problems that you cant handle. and if you feel like you cant handle it, surrender to Allah, Allah will helps you to solve it. HAVE FAITH!! :)
mean awile, lets spreading our positivity to our environment. and SMILE! it will looks good on us. and you know, we'll never know who's gonna falling with our smiles, rite? ;) *bathing eyelashes*
love,
your author
Senin, 10 Januari 2011
HAPPY LIFE
i imagined how my life would be last month, i expected it would be really sorrow, and i'll be so sad towards to my decision. but voilaaaaa.. i'm here rite now, still alive and happy. hehe.
it sounds really cheesy. i know. but yes, i live my life so happy rite now, i dont want to trade it for anything else. this is simple. perfect. yes, this is simply perfect.
this is all because of these people who currently entered my life. they're really great and nice. i feel so blessed for having them here. i know i cant thank them enough for treating me well.
can i have these people in my life forever? :')
love,
your author
it sounds really cheesy. i know. but yes, i live my life so happy rite now, i dont want to trade it for anything else. this is simple. perfect. yes, this is simply perfect.
this is all because of these people who currently entered my life. they're really great and nice. i feel so blessed for having them here. i know i cant thank them enough for treating me well.
can i have these people in my life forever? :')
love,
your author
Minggu, 02 Januari 2011
the new year, the new resolution, the same me, but the better version of me!
hey there, 2011..
new year, new resolution, but still the same me here, only this year i'll be getting better. yes, i'll have a better version of me this year! :)
i'm so excited. really. til i dont know where i can share these things with you. hihi..
oke. i sort of like had a new year's eve with him and his family. that's like coincidence. and i dont know why destiny's put us in the situation where everything seems so perfect. but we had nothing anymore. and it's not only happens once. maybe we're not meant to be together. and this is the way to show it all. to me. i was so in love with him. but now i realize that being love isnt enough. it's asking so much more than that to maintain such a relationship. commitment, loyalty, and gratitude. and he doesnt have any of those things. :)
i once asked my self, "why i cant be with the one that i love the most?", and got the answer through my own thought.. "it maybe because i'm belong to someone else". that's it. that's simple.
and now, i'm moving on. i am me. i am windy. and windy is going to wherever it is, as long as it's forward. and now, i left you in 2010. i dont want to get back there. coz it isnt where i belong. i belong here. 2011. and here, i'm so happy. :)
"...until he came along, just like a song, and brighter my day..."i never really know this man so well, but i dont know something's just felt sooooo right. maybe he's just like coming at the perfect time. when i need someone, exactly like him. oh then again, it made me blushed. hihihi.. for some people who knows me so well, they all will agreed that it's uncommon thing. the last time i felt this thing, err it was like 4 years a go. for a man that i've never met til now. and he haunted me for the rest 3 years after. i'm cured now. and now, i guess i'm infected with the same toxic with another man. again. and this time i wont surender. i wont let him down.
i was so stupid and naive back then, i turned the 1st man back then. til now, he kept coming back and forth. on and off. but never really into me anymore. i sucked at being "a girl who loves chasing a man". i'm having a real BIG pride that wont allow me to say sorry for turning him down. but i dont really regret it anyway. hehe. everything are just happened for something good. yes, things are just turned into the right pieces. time will let us know about it. soon.
well, i have to admit that i'm afraid of losing someone again. but how do i know he's going to be the one if i'm not having any guts to try? *bathing eyelashes*
love,
your authour
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