how bad the work place could impact your life

today while driving my car on the way to the office, i kinda have some thoughts. and i kept thinking about this issue. i can see so many people around me who's changing once they got the job. hmm anyway, what's job for you? how bad do you want to have a job? does your job is rite for you? and how about the work place? the people around it? does it impact your life? your personal life?

for me a job is just a tool that i use to get my own dreams, the bigger one. and sure to buy things, stand on my own, and sure travelling! hohoho.. and by that, i dont want my job to take place and ruins my personal life. i mean like i hate to work after 5, stay up at nite just to work longer, forgot to eat, and dont have so much time to spend with my dearest people. NO!!! i dont want to trade the moments with them only for a few bucks that i can get from working. i have a life here, a happy life, and the biggest parts is because it's consist of having my dearest people here! :')

lately, i've got some thoughts that my dearest people are kinda busy and somehow they've changed. well, i've experienced it when my closest someone's changed to someone bad, and it's really hurted me that much back then. i know everything has to change, but this someone, this is just simply someone that i love the most, and when he changed into someone that i hate, he's not only hurted my feeling, he's also made me change. a lot.

and i made a question to my self, "how much i've changed from the old windy?". well, actually this work place is kinda change me a lil bit too. but yeahs, somehow i try so hard to be true. i hate being such a goody goody type of worker. i work smartly. not that hard because i'm not looking for any career. but still i want to have a good performance here to increase my ability to be better. but yeahs, i dont know why somehow i dont feel so true lately. it's like if everyone must have something to be good at, then i know what i'm good at, i'm good at PRETENDING. yes, i'm so good at it until i think that i'm one of the best! HAHAHAHA! yea, sometimes after i wrote something that awfully wrong, i always laugh. hehehehe.. well, of course this isn't as bad as it sounds. but well lately, i dont think i'm being my true self. and the worst thing is i'm tired.

how much longer that i can stand being like this?



love,

your author