i wrote my previous blog with bahasa. it's kinda strange actually. coz i usually share my feeling in english, it's always been like that, i dont know since when.
what i really want to share here is about "HOME", for me home is a place where i can scream without having my voice louds, where i can really talk, share, and show how i feel without having any rejection, it's the place where i can really be my self. anD that's about it.
people said that we can buy everything with money. we can even buy people to love us if we want. but really? well, it could be actually. people are not looking so true anymore nowadays. they tend to look for who you are, i mean what you have, who's your family, how's your appearance, etc. well, we can't blame on them, coz maybe, we'll never know that we're one of those people rite? :)
but for me, there's something you can't buy. it's coziness. it's more like what you feel when you are at home. comfort. yea, it's comforting. and you can't buy this one. really you can't. no matter how you think that it's the rite thing, but hey, it's a feeling afterall, and when you deal with it, you can't think, you just feel it.
oke, i'll start to describe with a story. hihi.. *yea, there's always a story behind everything, rite?*
you guys are still remember about some guy i'vetold you before. yea, the crush one. hihi.. he's actually alright. he's *still* someone that i wish i could be with. BUT! *again, there's a BIG BUT* hihi.. i dont know why lately, there's a lot of things that make me not really sure about him. in conclusion is, we dont share things in common. coz we dont have it. it's so sad since i kinda find him attractive yah, but well when we have to deal with feeling, we just feel it, we dont use our brain, we use our heart *ihiyy* hehe.
i'm not actually so good at this thing. i use to love a man for sooooooooooo long, and i dont have any feeling to any other man to compare. until this one. well, he's still can't compare the previous one, OF COURSE! but yea, he made me believe that i can falling in love once again, since i kinda like him a lot at first. and when i start to believe, start to know him better, that's when i knew we're that different. i don't like the way he tries to reach me. i dont like the way he shares stories. i dont like the way we communicate. i dont like his style. i dont like the way he brags. okeee i hate everything about him. HAHAHAHA! *ups*
well, at first i dont know what's rush into me til i had that feeling, it's like being crush on someone. yea maybe i'm just like a girl who just got out from a tough and long relationship, and all i need is having a new adventure, new type of man, and VOILAA here he is. hehe..
but, i'm better now. at least i can control my self. and sorry to say, but well i'm not into it anymore. it's done.
i dont say that i'm being back to that stupid windy who loves the same man for almost errr like forever yah, coz i changed, A LOT! i'm sure that i can be better without him. which I AM. i'm so happy rite now. i cant ask for more. Allah just simply loves me that much. hold me that tight when i need it the most. and rite now, i can be on my own. i can be whoever i want my self be. i can be better and better. and by that, i dont want to settle for anything less than what deserve. NO! i dont want to say that i wont be with him anymore, coz i dont want to play GOD, if it's happens, then it's Allah's will. and if it is, i'm sure it will be for my best. but rite now, i dont want it to be happened. as long as i can run, i'll try to run futher away from him. HA! :p
2nd story is came from my childhood friend. he's actually not really the kind of man that i want to be end up with. he's errrr i dont know how to describe this second man, but well he's simply NOT that husband matterial! :( you know i always hate a man who's deliberately using his family's power, because he knows exactly who his father is. and i hate to talk about something over and over again, like you dont actually have anything to discuss, i mean he's just simply not that smart. and being with a smart man is my thing. BUT! *yeahs another BIG BUT* huahahaha..
he's so lovable, so easy to be with, so funny, so easy to please me, and he's so comforting. and it's an OUCH! coz i'm starting to see him more than just a friend of mine. well, he likes me a lot ever since we met, and he admitted it. but well, to be with him is like having so many obstacles to be concerned. not only it could ruins our friendships, but it may ruins our father's friendships. and most of all, i'm not really sure that i'm into this thing also, so yeaa i dont want to lose him. huhu..
so yea, that's about it readers. then again, you can't force to be comforted with someone. see, i've told you, afterall we all knew that we can't buy coziness. so yea, dont be too fast to settle, coz you wont settle for anything less than what you deserve rite? be smart! :D
love,
your author
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