hold onto Allah, and you dont have to worry about anything.

finally, i made my decision, i dont know if it's right or wrong, all i know i've made this decision for my own sake. there's no point of trying so hard or chasing after something that you dont even really sure of anymore. and that's it. i left.

somehow i can feel it, Allah hold me a lil bit tighter right now. Allah won't let me surrender to this life. even i almost feel like waving my white flag, but then again, Allah rise me up and hold me even tighter, and now i'm all fine! Alhamdulillah.
this is just another shitty days, another unfortunate moments that i will remember, someday. i will laugh at those moments someday at my top position. i will. i know i will.
i am the girl that believe in happy ending. if it's not happy, then it's obviously not the ending. it's just a phase that leads me to the perfect ending.

the fact is, he doesnt know that i've known everything, every single detail that he did there. i knew it. and it's hurting me so bad, but somehow made me strong enough to take this risk. lo let him go. to put some pieces of my broken heart. and left him.

i will have the best time of my life. the best thing is i can be myself again. i dont have to cover the shines of me. i can be shining, glowing, blooming, i can be a better and a better and a LOT better version of my self. i can be whatever or whoever i want my self to be. yes this is my time.
i'm young, i'm free. i can do whatever it is. i can stay up late, or even i dont have to sleep. i still can do some mistake. and still have some rooms left to fix those mistake, and grow. i can find my true friends. falling in love. break ups. travelling all around to the places i love. take some photos. making memories. achieve some goals. have my master degree. master my 3rd and even 4rd foreign languages. simply having my the time of your life.
time flies so fast. i have to be even faster. i have to be prepared. coz i know my life wont stop here. i wasted some times, but i'm not stupid. i still have sooooooo much time to do whatever it is. then again. it doesnt the end. it's obviously NOT.

i believe in fairy tales. i believe in happy endings. i will have my own version of happy ending. i will be happy. the happiest person in the world, in time. until someday, someone will find a way to find me. to love me unconditionally. and making everything worth the wait. and perfect.


wish me luck.



love,

your author

DREAMS

today, i'm asking this question to my self,

"if this isn't really my dreams, can i just went away?"

have you ever wonder, when you walked through a way for soooo long, and all of sudden, you asked your self, "is it the right the way?" , or "is it really what i want to be happened?" and you feel like stuck in one place and how bad you want to move forward, everything is just dragging you back to your previous place, to that place, that comfort zone, the place that you dont want to leave, but in some levels you really want to go, to have everything, have the time of your life, have to go.. just go..

Last night i watched "500", this movie is about a woman who doesn't believe true love exists, and the young man who falls for her. i like this movie so much, this is about the truth, and about moving on.. one quotes that is comes from this movie is :

"People change. Feelings change.

It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true and real.

It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart."

its so sad, yes indeed! but it was strikes me to the core! yes, maybe sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.. they're growing in a different paths, they just simply not suppose to be together.. and all of the memories they had, all of the feeling, it wasnt true and real, it's just mean to be a lesson for them.. a lesson that thought them to be stronger and better..

i wish i could go along the way with you as always in the same path.. i wish someday, i'll sleep and wake up beside you, and will spend the rest of my life with you.. and i wish to have a relationship that based on loving and caring, not based on insecurity and forcing.. i want to have and keep this real..

you sang that song to me, "home by buble" , a song that really reminds me of you, and will always be..

"And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s lifeIt’s like I just stepped outsideWhen everything was going right. And I know just why you could not come along with me'Cause this was not your dreamBut you always believed in me."

maybe yes, sometimes i dont feel like this is my dream.. you are too far away from me, or maybe i do the same way too.. we're too busy catching all of those dreams and achievements, and we simply forget to hold each other back.. isnt it the most important thing in a relationship? to have someone that you can really talk to, someone that could make you feel "home", even when you both are doing nothing at all.. do we still had those things?

i love you, you know i do.. i love you even you've hurting me so many times.. i'm broken down, i'm turning into pieces, but i love you with all of the pieces that stay remain.. i love you with all my heart, my mind, my body and my soul..

you were my bestfriend, my boyfriend, my family, my enemy's enemy, simply my everything back then.. and now, i dont even see any tittle in you for me.. and i'm not happy here.. i'm not feeling anything, i'm numb..

just like cold play said "So I looked in your direction, But you paid me no attention"..

just gently let me go........

your author,

windy

LIFE EXPECTATION

hey, you there..

i want to share about something.. about my work life, err well it's not really about what happens in this company, coz actually there's nothing that really important that made me want to share.. hehe.. but this is just about things we've talked in this office..

one day, my work friend, lets called him "steward", asked me about what kind of house that i want when i'm getting married.. and i am like "WHAT? A HOUSE?" hahaha.. sure this thing never came to my mind before.. and when he asked me this question, my computer was on about "HOLIDAY TO NEW YORK".. HAHHAHA forgive me, but yes im soooooooo into holidays! hehe.. and newyork is one of some places that i want to go before i die.. hihi..

VERSUS

HA!! which one do you gonna choose?? haha.. for me it isnt such a great deal, i'll choose to go to new york right away!! hihihi..

and i've got a thoughts about this topic, about "life expectation".. hmmm maybe it's about the ages.. or maybe it's about maturity?? this steward is 29 years old now, and sure i'm still a lil rookie for him.. but yeah, some people in my ages are already think about these things.. am i still childish and not mature enough? or it's just me who loves travelling around the world, and these kind of things are just simple never came to me before.. or elses, am i being in the wrong place which means all of the people around me are still talking about "how to get boys attention" while the others are thinking about "how to achieve and get the job".. and now, i have to face the other side of the world with the people who's already thinking about "having future with someone else", and about "how to get there"..

but sure, dont call me windy if i am not having a good positive thoughts.. really, i will get there.. we will get there.. and i'm sure it wont be too long for me anymore.. even it's still a lil bit scary now, but deep down, i cant wait to share this life with someone.. with the one who loves me the most and made me falling in love with him everyday! :)

Love,

your author

"will you marry me?"

hey there, i just entered another chapter of my life, yes sure its a new job! :)
well, but today i won’t tell you guys about this new company, since i just got here for 2 days, i can’t say much about it! hehe..
well, what i really want to talk about here is the strong word called "would you marry me?", the word that makes some of us, as a woman believe that once a man say this magic words, our world would turns into "a happily ever after" life.. then again, IS IT TRUE? :)

i tend to believe that it is not as simple as what i just said.. it takes more than those simple words to make your life become happily ever after! :)

i am 23 years old right now, and well i'm suppose to be in the ages that think about getting married, and well so do i! but then again, i don’t want to end up with the wrong person, i won’t settle for less than what i can deserve..

i have a friend that just got married last week, she told me about those things that she just found out rite after she agreed to marry her husband.. she told me about how bad he is and how she actually want to bail off the wedding.. but she can’t do it, because of the family and her pride towards her friends..
hmm.. would you consider to ruin your life only to save your pride? That’s kinda pathetic for me..

my friend told me that i'm kinda idealist, women in my ages are still have their lists and want everything to be done based on it.. hehe.. yea you can call me that too, but sure i won’t be another stupid girl who desperately wants to get married with anyone, without having their own standard.. huhu..

i've got this question, do you want to get married soon with someone that you are not really sure can make you happy, as long as he can purpose to u soon? or you want to wait until you met someone that can make you feel complete, but you have to wait a lil longer? :)

alright ladies, that's your call.. me? i want to find and wait for my perfect man to come my way, and while he's on his way here, i'm gonna achieve so many things in life, so i won’t regret anything later.. :)

be smart ladies, be BOLD! and don’t forget, dont settle for anything less than what you deserve!

love,


your author

happy 25th years anniversary wedding mom and dad!

hey folks, yes! finally it's weekend and i have sometime to do in my me time! btw, today is my mom's birthday, so excited about it coz my parents are planning to have a gala diner for their 25th years anniversary wedding! yeay!! and i will sing some songs with masinuu, and yes so excited yet so scared, consider masinu has a very great voice, and me? haha.. totally in the opposite! i guess i'll be his dancer or a backing vocal girl tonight, AHA! what a great idea! hihi..
well, enough about it.. i really want to say "happy 25th years anniversary wedding to both of my parents" they're really something, they're really a role model for me, i want to have what they had rite now, someday! amiiiiin! :')

my mom and dad are known each other for 30 years, it's a long time to stay in love with someone, to stay true and fall in love with the same person over and over again.. and today, they celebrate their silver wedding anniversary.. and as in their daughter, i really wish them all the happiness in life.. may Allah granted all of their wishes! amiiiin ya Rabb! <3<3

best regards,

you author

intro

there is a lot of things are going on in my mind.. it's because of things that happened lately with some of my girl friends.. they're telling me about their love stories, and it has one thing in common.. "MEN ARE FREAK".. huahaha.. yes, i've got so many reasons whyi said it, but well.. i dont have anymore free time lately to write a blog or having my "me time", so yeaa that's about it, the intro.. i'll share everything.. ohh i'm dying to write about it.. but really have to go now!:(
catch u later world, love you! :*


love,

the author

turning 23

i'm turning 23 tomorrow.. it's my sacred age! why? i actually dont know why or since when i always think that when i'm turning 23, i'll be a very great woman of my dreams in this year.. hehe.. i'll be the one who gets all of those happiness, like dream jobs, best friends, and sure the one.. can i have all of them in one year? :')

..a lil bit flash back..

last year, i've been called by someone, and made me cried all over the night! yes, in the night of my birthday! that was like the worst birthday ever! i've been through sooooo many bad things last year.. i'm so blessed that i've Allah SWT that never leave me, and sure family and bestfriends! i love them sooooo much! i can say, "i won't be that strong if i dont have them back then"..

but things changed, that's life.. afterall we're just have to play this scenario! yes my friend, sometimes it's sweet, but in the other times it's bitter.. but this is a reality, it's not a dream or a night mare, and you have to face it! i'm glad to say that i can through those life's obstacles in that year perfectly! :)
now, here i am, a 23 years old lady! i've been doing some wishes for this year that have to be done may Allah granted all of them! :)
3 wishes that i want to have in this year are :

1. dream job
i want to have a dream job that i'll never gonna leave. the job that simply makes me more alive, the thing is the definition of dream job for me is, a job that i love and i'm so good at it. and sure i hope that i can get a great salary as well.. hehe..

2. another language
i always think about having another language course, but still dont know which language that i'd like to choose! but these weeks, i kinda want to learn spanish! well, that's quite easy and many countries are spoken spanish! hehe.. so, i'll learn this language this year! hope i can master the language! ihiyy! :))

3. the real "the one"
this isn't the least because of i've mentioned this the last! its just because it's the most important thing and sure will be the hard one to achieve. having "the one" isn't like only have a boyfriend, but the one that you really want spend the rest of you life with, the one that you want to grow old with.. and the most important is, it's build to the last! <3<3

and finally, it's my birthday! happy birthday, me! ohh yeah, not forget to mention! i put the "UP" picture in my bbm display, it's for reminding me that someday i'm gonna be like her, i'm gonna be old and weak.. but i hope i'll find someone who will stand next to me, and hold my hands, and be there til my dying day! :') and also remind me that someday i can't do anything anymore because i'm too weak, so that's why i keep doing my "have to do" list, to make me remember all of my dreams and try to catch up with it before it's too late! :)
once again, happy 23rd birthday, me! wish me have a great day! <3
may Allah always lights my paths and granted all of my wishes! amiiin ya Allah! :)

ps. it's a great date! 080910 isn't it perfect? hihi..



love,


windygitawulandhari

a mistake

here i am, again, with *still* some several questions in my head! hehe..


by looking at the tittle, you should know what's the thing that i'd like to talk here..
yes, its about a mistake.. a mistake.. its not because that i did something really bad lately, but i'm just thinking about our everyday life..
how often that we've done our mistakes, and forget about it then do exactly the same mistake all over again? have we ever learnt from those mistakes? or mistakes are just like a common thing that we dont even care if its happens again?
we're just simply being too busy to try to cover it up, to pretend to be a saint, but in the other hand, the mistakes will continue happens.. and its not right, its wrong..
i know i'm not that good, i did some bad things, i failed, i hurted ppl feeling, i insulted, i cried, and i learnt, yes that's the most important, i learnt something from those mistakes..
for now on, i think i want to be bold, to admit my mistakes in the past, and face the future with smile.. at least, i made a note for my self, to never ever do the same mistakes anymore.. and i hope, well not only hope, but as simply as i'll do it! now! :)


love,


windy

is it just all about how great you can bargain?

here's another silly thought of mine! :)

hey there folks, have you ever been in relationship? i don't know since when, i start to keep wondering about how to make a relationship works? i somehow believe that relationship could be succeed or not, is based on what we've agreed at the first time..
you know, at the very first time, before we really sure that we're going to have a relationship with someone, we're really have to think about how well we knew this someone, how well we can get along with this someone, and etc.. and we sort of making our own "rules", and try to adjust that into someone's elses rules. and when its works on both of you, then BAM! you are now in a relationship! quite easy eh?:)

but what i'm really concerning here is, is it just all about how great you can bargain? or about which one is having more advantages in that relationship? it's just strikes me out! PATHETIC, isn't it? but then again, in some levels, it is true! i hate to admit this, but somehow, when i questioning about this, i always end up with agreeing with those statements.. hmm.. it's a good thing tho, if you think you can connected those things with commitment! yeahs, commitment is good! hehe.. but still, is it all just about that? where's love, caring, sweet talk, and stuffs? does the commitment is making those stuffs gone? if its a yes, then being a marriage couple, where commitment is above everything is really such a disaster eh? hehe..
well, i'm not saying i'm afraid of that commitment thingy, or too chicken for being a mariage couple! i love being tight into relationship, i love rules, commitment, and everything around it! hehe.. but yes, then again! i'm just a newbie in this full serious commitment of life! and asking so many questions lead me to it closer! errrr.. am i? hehe..
oke then, i'm out! :)


love,


your author

JEALOUSY AND COMMUNICATION

jealousy.. have you ever feel it? how far would you go to show it to someone else? it's an interesting thing to be discussed, i guess..

Each person would have felt jealous, the only difference is in what level the jealous is? well, i mean this is a jealous for a spouse, in particullar ..
many things are affecting the level of jealousy, here's some of the examples : the reason why we are jealous, the people that makes us feel it, how long we have been in a relationship, and how far we "did things" in that relationship.. and sure there's more things that also follow the influence of jealousy!

i kinda in the middle of couple's drama now, i mean the drama of jealousy thingy! i dont want to spoil someone's misfortune here. but sometimes, my curiousity's killing me! i end up with asking so many times, "WHY"? it isnt because s/he's not suppose to feel it, but i dont think someone in that quality could have done something that far, just to show her/his spouse they love them that much!

i think, all of those misunderstanding things are because of we cant find a way to communicate. for me, communication is like EVERYTHING! we can tell someone what we really want and let them understand by finding the rite way to say it.. yes, correct me if i'm wrong anyway, maybe few people said that love is conquers all odds, but how can you love a person if you barely even talk to him/her? it's for me like IMPOSSIBLE things to do!

hey come on, if there's something that you hate about your spouse, just let him/her knows! tell them! being angry, insulting, and end up with crying wont solve your problems! trust me! you can talk nicely, and find the way to solve it, TOGETHER! :)

so for the couple in fight out there, remember one thing! do u really want to lose him/her? if you dont, then TALK! and please dont let anyone elses got stuck in your way! it wont do any good! okay then, good luck! hope you guys are a happy couple, wherever you are! :)


love,


your author

the frequency

hay guys,
welcome back to another silly thoughts of mine! hehe..
this time, i'd like to share about my perception for the word "soulmate".. uhhh its a BIG WORD eh? hehe.. so many books wrote about this subject, try to explain more about it.. "what's soulmate?, who's gonna be ur soulmate?, where u can find ur soulmate?, etc" HA! it's for me, too much to take, too difficult to understand.. well, i'm just a girl in my early 20's who's looking for a simple and happy life, i guess i dont need those kind of definitions! hehe..

i finally get my own definition for that "soulmate" word! the simplest explaination that i could ever given to myself! i always think that when we find our soulmate, it wont take much efforts, it wont make u feels like "whooooo-ing and booooo-ing" at the same time, its just happens! i mean it doesnt need a fuss situation, a "cry and laugh out loud" moments, infinite time, and another influential things, it's just happens, u just "click" to him/her.

and i know, it's called "being in the same frequency". you know, when u hear a radio, and you feel like "hmmm this tunes is really fits me", and you keep on going listen to it rite? and for me, find a soulmate is like find the rite tunes for us! we keep on turning the radio's tunes, til u get the tunes that perfectly fits you! i'm not saying it's an easy thing to do! but well, when we find it, we dont have to do those fuss thing, you just knew it! and its really feels like "home"..

so guys, at last, i'll take a note for self, and its okay for you guys to follow! "dont be stupid wasting your time for someone that "too much to take", coz i think when we find a "same frequency" person, they wont let us do those fussy things, and feels stupid for having those feelings for them, find someone that could make you feel love and be loved at the same time without having doubt at all cost, coz you knew they're really that mattter for you!"

love,

your author

the princess and the frog

I've got things to think.. let's try to define it on words..
if a princess really want to have a happy ending, she has to marry a prince rite? at least that's what we've already knew, something that we've dreamt of, rite ladies? hehe.. well, who's a prince anyway? i always thought that a prince is the rite frog, yes! the rite frog who's been kissed by us and all of sudden become a prince! haha.. i know it's sounds so silly! you can laugh at me now! hehe.. but hello, in a real life sometimes, i think it's true.. let's analogizing a frog as in a "wrong man", i mean an unsuitable man in a perfect time, suitable man in a wrong time, or both are wrong.. they're just "the frog", a frog that no matter how many times we kiss, they'll be the same! they just aren't meant to be for us! that take! and well, at last i end up questioning about, "how long does it take for me to kept kissing a frog til i met my very own prince?" i wonder.. :)

the lion's awake!

hay guys, so long we didnt catch up!i almost forgot about this blog.. yes, too much things are going on lately, and writting a blog is simply something that easily forgotten.. hehe..
well, i just want to say hello to all of you.. promise that i'll deliver some of my thoughts to you guys, soon! yes, as soon as i complete this work things! :):):)
ps. i miss you anyway, i miss the moments when writting is one of the way i use to kill the time! hehehe..
see you again soon on another silly thoughts of mine! chiao!