DREAMS

today, i'm asking this question to my self,

"if this isn't really my dreams, can i just went away?"

have you ever wonder, when you walked through a way for soooo long, and all of sudden, you asked your self, "is it the right the way?" , or "is it really what i want to be happened?" and you feel like stuck in one place and how bad you want to move forward, everything is just dragging you back to your previous place, to that place, that comfort zone, the place that you dont want to leave, but in some levels you really want to go, to have everything, have the time of your life, have to go.. just go..

Last night i watched "500", this movie is about a woman who doesn't believe true love exists, and the young man who falls for her. i like this movie so much, this is about the truth, and about moving on.. one quotes that is comes from this movie is :

"People change. Feelings change.

It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true and real.

It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart."

its so sad, yes indeed! but it was strikes me to the core! yes, maybe sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.. they're growing in a different paths, they just simply not suppose to be together.. and all of the memories they had, all of the feeling, it wasnt true and real, it's just mean to be a lesson for them.. a lesson that thought them to be stronger and better..

i wish i could go along the way with you as always in the same path.. i wish someday, i'll sleep and wake up beside you, and will spend the rest of my life with you.. and i wish to have a relationship that based on loving and caring, not based on insecurity and forcing.. i want to have and keep this real..

you sang that song to me, "home by buble" , a song that really reminds me of you, and will always be..

"And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s lifeIt’s like I just stepped outsideWhen everything was going right. And I know just why you could not come along with me'Cause this was not your dreamBut you always believed in me."

maybe yes, sometimes i dont feel like this is my dream.. you are too far away from me, or maybe i do the same way too.. we're too busy catching all of those dreams and achievements, and we simply forget to hold each other back.. isnt it the most important thing in a relationship? to have someone that you can really talk to, someone that could make you feel "home", even when you both are doing nothing at all.. do we still had those things?

i love you, you know i do.. i love you even you've hurting me so many times.. i'm broken down, i'm turning into pieces, but i love you with all of the pieces that stay remain.. i love you with all my heart, my mind, my body and my soul..

you were my bestfriend, my boyfriend, my family, my enemy's enemy, simply my everything back then.. and now, i dont even see any tittle in you for me.. and i'm not happy here.. i'm not feeling anything, i'm numb..

just like cold play said "So I looked in your direction, But you paid me no attention"..

just gently let me go........

your author,

windy