hold onto Allah, and you dont have to worry about anything.

finally, i made my decision, i dont know if it's right or wrong, all i know i've made this decision for my own sake. there's no point of trying so hard or chasing after something that you dont even really sure of anymore. and that's it. i left.

somehow i can feel it, Allah hold me a lil bit tighter right now. Allah won't let me surrender to this life. even i almost feel like waving my white flag, but then again, Allah rise me up and hold me even tighter, and now i'm all fine! Alhamdulillah.
this is just another shitty days, another unfortunate moments that i will remember, someday. i will laugh at those moments someday at my top position. i will. i know i will.
i am the girl that believe in happy ending. if it's not happy, then it's obviously not the ending. it's just a phase that leads me to the perfect ending.

the fact is, he doesnt know that i've known everything, every single detail that he did there. i knew it. and it's hurting me so bad, but somehow made me strong enough to take this risk. lo let him go. to put some pieces of my broken heart. and left him.

i will have the best time of my life. the best thing is i can be myself again. i dont have to cover the shines of me. i can be shining, glowing, blooming, i can be a better and a better and a LOT better version of my self. i can be whatever or whoever i want my self to be. yes this is my time.
i'm young, i'm free. i can do whatever it is. i can stay up late, or even i dont have to sleep. i still can do some mistake. and still have some rooms left to fix those mistake, and grow. i can find my true friends. falling in love. break ups. travelling all around to the places i love. take some photos. making memories. achieve some goals. have my master degree. master my 3rd and even 4rd foreign languages. simply having my the time of your life.
time flies so fast. i have to be even faster. i have to be prepared. coz i know my life wont stop here. i wasted some times, but i'm not stupid. i still have sooooooo much time to do whatever it is. then again. it doesnt the end. it's obviously NOT.

i believe in fairy tales. i believe in happy endings. i will have my own version of happy ending. i will be happy. the happiest person in the world, in time. until someday, someone will find a way to find me. to love me unconditionally. and making everything worth the wait. and perfect.


wish me luck.



love,

your author