convince the heart of mine

hey, it's been a month since the day i took a very brave decision to leave him. a lot of things has changed. i am changed also. i am glad that even i dont know how much i change, but i'm pretty sure i'm a lot better now.



and since there's a new guy suddenly entered my life for the past some weeks, even somehow i can tell i'm not gonna end up with this one, but he's like a perfect crush for me! hihi.. my friend once told me that i look alike a high school teenager who's conditionally has a crush on someone. hoho. it's actually looks even crazier, just so you know. i'm barely even know my self. but screw it, life's all about choices rite? and now i'm choosing being a lover.hehe.

i almost forgot how to cry because i'm so happy rite now. so happy with my life, and i cant trade for anything, yeah.. i cant complain about anything rite now. and him, the new guy, making everything looks even more perfecto. hihiy.

until last nite, a bestfriend sent me some proof of their conversation, yeah it's her and "you know who" conversation. i stood up. shocked. and touched. but i have to admit, this is what i've already predicted before. i know sooner or later, he'll realize that i'm the best and he treated me wrongly back then. some parts of me want to call him and let him know that i'll always love him. and make him sure that we're doing good back then, but we're just simply dont meant to be together. and for that, nobody's wrong. but some parts of me, which is like the bigger one, feels that i dont have any obligation to do anything with that. i'm moving on already. and i dont want to look back anymore. for whatever the reason is.

i have to convince my heart. settle it down. and be in present. and to you dearest one, you know i wish all the best thing in life. i wish you all the love and happiness in the world. and please please please dont ruin this one. coz i know this time will be different. take care there. i know you wont read this. but somehow i know u knew all of these things. sorry i cant give you any last words. it's too painful for me to admit that it's not fair for me. but i've to be grown up. i've to move on. i am a BIG girl. and BIG girl isnt suppose to whine and complain. hehe. which is i am not.

love,

your author